I remember the day so vividly even though 28 years have passed .It had been raining since morning being Janamashtmi (Lord Krishna ,s birthday )it was a holiday also .My husband was at home teaching my beautiful daughter her alphabets my toddler son was crawling around.There was an aura of happiness and contentment all around .And than as suddenly the life changed .The slight temperature my daughter had led to convulsions and later when she remained unconcious for seven days we were told at the hospital that it was an attack of viral encephalitis and nothing can be done about it .We brought her home reduced to a helpless state ,she had lost all her faculties she had lost her mobility and speech, dependent on us for every small thing .To say that it was a shock is an understatement .We were like robots going through the motions of living .My mother took charge of my one year old son.My husband and his brother joined duties .I spent the whole day looking after the kid who was not at all my lovely talkative daughter but a helpless infant .One day while bathing her she could not sit still ,I screamed in frustration at every thing and than I happened to look at the mirror on the wall .I was shocked .Was it me the shrew in the mirror ?That moment again changed my life .I picked her up ,held her tight and promised myself to love and cherish her for ever.It was no fault of her that this happened and neither was it a fault or a sin of mine and my husband,s ,it was destiny .When my husband came back from office I greeted him with my old smile .He was so surprised that he thought that maybe a miracle has taken place and our daughter has recovered ..I told him it was I who has recovered .We learnt to live life again we showered our love on our son and taught him to accept and love his sister as she is .She got back her under standing and intelligence but nothing else .She is still totally dependent on us for all her bodily functions but despite that she has given us a lot .She has taught us to love unconditionally ,accept gracefully and live life and laugh a lot .My husband and I share a love and a bond which is truly fulfilling ,Our son has grown into a fine young man and I would like to believe that he has learnt compassion and kindness from his sister .
If I make it sound it easy I must say it has not been so .There have been hurts .People have been cruel ,many things have been missed in life but than there are compensations alright We have also known how good and loving people can be ‘.In spite of her age she is still a child and we do get tired at times and we do worry about future but than the solace is that she is God,s child and God would certainly not abandon his own .

Sacred space in Times ofIndia on sept.11 had many quotations about saying goodbye .It set me thinking about the inevitability of death and yet we never consider it .And if it comes suddenly there is only regret and heartache .So many words unsaid so many memories not shared ,moments of anger and hurt stored and than there is nothing but regret .But is it really possible never to feel hurt and always to feel so angelic? A wise perason once told me that it is not always possible to control our thoughts but we can control our words and actions . So even at the risk of being considered weak I try to hold my tongue as far as possible cause tomorrow I may regret my anger or there may be no tomorrow for me .

I surprised myself when I found myself praying for wisdom ,praying for wisdom at fifty plus !But I was !In fact I have realized that as you grow old you lose the brash confidence of young age ,the all knowing attitude .Experience mellows you ,youlearn to appreciate and acknowledge different and diverse views You realize the inevitability of certain facts and your own vulnerability .Your love becomes less demanding and more forgiving and accepting .And you need infinite patience and understanding .Youth has rights Age has responsibility so no wonder I pray for wisdom and maturity .