I am a fan of Feynman .I do not understand Physics at all so am not influenced by his remarkable brilliance but I think he was a wonderful person .I have read his collection of essays and I like reading them again and again .His writing are simple and full of day to day wisdom .Through him I have come to know his father who was a really remarkable person and influenced and moulded him into the person he was .However here I want to write about his relationship with his first wife .
Feynman and arlene were childhood sweethearts .They decided to get married when they were very young but were planning to wait till they finished their education . Arlene fell sick and later on she was diagonosed with cancer .They decided to get married at once against all odds and opposition .Feynman has glossed over the difficulties they must have faced and just described the great love they had for each other .Arlene faced the inevitable with equimanity ,secure in her love towards him and his towards her .They had promised to be always truthful with each other so there was an acceptance of the great loss .They had five years together beautiful years .The great thing is that he chooses to remember the fun part of his relationship and not the great loss and heartache .I don't think I am able to describe the love that enveloped both of them for that you may actually have to read Feynman but I must quote him when he says ,'We had a hell of a good time together ."

The month of Shhradh has just ended .The last fifteen days were the days Hindus pay obesiance to their ancestors .The idea is to remember your late parents and give to charity .It was a ritual done with the chanting of mantras food ,clothes etc. were given to Brahmins .They was treated as the representative of the departed soul .Sometimes they took advantage of this feeling and made extreme demands .Now of course few believe that feeding a brahmin would somehow please the soul of the departed but most still follow the custom .It is supposed to be the sacred duty of children to perform shhradh .
Ithink the rationale behind this custom is to remind us of our roots .We must pay homage to our parents and remember that we are what we are because of them .It is so easy to forget that we owe every thing to them so our wise ancestors stipulated these fifteen days so we may remind our selves of their contribution to our self .Often in our day to day life we tend to forget it .So these days do serve a very useful purpose
These days remind me of my father and my father in law .My father died when I was studying ,It was a terrible loss and I missed him dreadfully but than we picked up the threads and life went on .But now thirty five years later I miss him much more ,I wish I could have his wisdom to guide me I wish I knew him as a person and not only as a father .I read his poems and realize that he was a very compassionate and considerate person, that he had a vision much beyond ordinary humdrum of life .I wish my son had known him .I wish he could have inherited his vision and his love for humanity.The solace is that he has inherited the genes .
My father in law died fifteen years before .In fact he was the father figure I missed .I like to think that maybe in some respects I was the daughter he never had .I knew him as a person a warm and caring person .I learnt a lot from him .Some of the things I learnt from him are the real mantras of life ."If somebody hurts or insults you immediately forget it .if you think about it you are becoming a slave of that person .Be the master of your thoughts ".He told me . I always remember his words and so I remember him not only in these fifteen days but the year round.